Did you ever see the Saturday Night Live skit with a family called "The Whiners"?
I remember laughing for the first few seconds and after that time it became just plain annoying.
I 've tried really hard since becoming a "one" in a world of twos, to keep from being labeled with that title.
Yes, life certainly feels unfair when everyone seems to be a pair but you. But I've learned that whining about our situations only tends to alienate us further.
I've tried instead, to concentrate on the things I am able to do now, that I never did before. Things that have empowered me as a woman. The silver linings inside our storm clouds.
My first Ms. Fix-it project was installing a closet organizer.
I didn't hold on to my hubby's clothing for long. A week or so after Ed died, I boxed up his clothing. I figured if I couldn’t have my husband, I may as well have his closet space! I did however, keep a shirt with the smell of his Grey Flannel cologne still lingering. On those really down days , I'd sneak up to the closet to get my fix. I'd breath in his scent and believe for a moment that he was standing next to me. Sound familiar?
Anyway, after designing the closet layout. I used an electric drill for the first time in my life.
I should first have used a stud finder (not a good name for a tool to be used by a lonely woman!) If I had, perhaps my closet walls wouldn't have looked like a family of woodpeckers had settled in!
The physical labor actually helped lift the days depression. It's been awhile but I suspect that a few of those "extra holes" may have been a way of working thru some anger issues.
Finally I was finished and I stepped back and admired my work. WOW it looked amazing. What took me a whole day to finish, my husband could have done in an hour. But what a sense of accomplishment I felt. I went around the house for days singing “I am woman hear me roar.”
What about you? Are you doing things that you’ve never done before? What was the first thing you did as a new widow that gave you a sense of accomplishment? I'd love to hear your stories.
Weekly ReCap for October 8
6 years ago
1 comment:
Hi,
Today I stumbled upon your "blog". Believe me, I can relate to you. Lost "my love" 19 months ago. So yes, I have been trying to find out who I am now and what I do for the rest of my life.
I loved your closet story.
My husband was a great painter, liked to spruce things up. Was always painting the woodwork,the walls, porches, railing etc. Used to kid him that when he died, I would put a paintbrush in one hand and phone in the other, because he just would not look natural without them.
Anyway, one day after he died I looked at an old chair I had sitting on the deck that he had painted and I had put a plant in. It looked horrid, paint peeling and all faded. Now I do not paint(never had to) nor did I want to. But I thought I can do this, what can be so hard. So I got some spray paint, a steel brush and sandpaper and began working on the chair. As I was waving the spray can around, the chair was beginning to look pretty good. Suddenly I looked up toward the sky and began shouting, "John, look, I am painting, I can do this, I can do this!." It was a break thru for me, that even tho we may not want to do things, we can do what we have to do.
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