Almost As Bad as a Boy named Sue

I hated my name growing up.

All my friends could buy bicycle license plates, or barrettes or cute note paper with their name emblazoned across it.

But, no not me!

Once in a great while I stumbled across something, but it was always spelled LuAnn instead of Luanne.

Not only was I disappointed with my name for lack of bling, but I can't begin to tell you how many times my friends and relatives misspelled it. Finally in the 8th grade I decided that if I couldn’t beat them, I might as well join them and embrace what they were doing, and I began spelling my name differently on each school paper I turned in.

One time I wrote LuAnn, the next LouAnn, then Louann, Louanne, LouAnne, LuAnne, Luann and once even LooAnn.

My teacher, Sister Marcine , didn't find this exercise one bit amusing, and when each paper was returned, the normal C+ grade was accompanied by a large red pen circle around my name. Finally, deciding that enough was enough, Sister Marcine made a comment that went something like this:

"Had you been paying as much attention to your
lessons as you have been to creating a new spelling for your name the last few weeks, perhaps your grades wouldn't have fallen so dramatically. Stop this foolishness NOW, and get busy!"

My parents agreed wholeheartedly, and not wanting to risk having every privilege taken away from me, I agreed cease and desist the name changes.

High School was even more of a drag when it came to my name.

Whenever Barb, my BFF, would walk down the hall, guys would sing Ba Ba Ba Ba Barbara Ann, to her.

And to Peg they would sing "Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue, oh how my heart yearns for you, my Peggy my Peggy Sue."

Then there was Diane who was serenaded with “Oh please stay by me Diana”, and Judy heard, “Well now its Judy’s turn to cry Judy’s turn to cry, Judy's turn to cry i i” , and finally my friend Laura often heard, “Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her, Tell Laura not to cry, my love for her…will never die.

It seemed all sooooo romantic back in high school.

Even my boyfriend Ed had a song "Eddie My Love". Perpetually late for a date because he was either hunting or milking cows, I often serenaded him before a date by singing “Please Eddie, don’t make me wa ait too long.”

But alas there was no song sung about Luanne, or even LuAnn for that matter (sigh) I was doomed to live a life void of romanticism.

But finally circa the 80's, the group Foreigner came to my aid, (just a tad bit late however) with this song.

Now if only I could find some nice guy to come and sweep me off my feet by serenading me with this song, well let me just say.... life might actually be perfect.