It would be the ability to go back in time and live certain moments over once again.
With all the snow that has been accumulating in my neck of the woods, I've been thinking of the big snow days of yesteryear; days of building inanimate objects out of snow.
I never really grasped the idea of building a snowman? After all what can you do with a man made out of snow.
Instead, my sister and I made lovely horses, and spent all afternoon in fantasy land as we rode our wild stallions to exciting far away places and became heroines for a moment in time.
Those were such carefree days.
When we spotted Daddy's panel truck turning into the driveway late in the afternoon, we squealed with delight and eagerly ran to greet him. Embracing him with tiny balls of snow clinging to our fuzzy mittens, we dragged him off to see our creations.
To have daddy home made us feel safe, it made our world complete.
Tuesday night I went to Lansing for dinner with some friends.
The weather forcast was calling for blowing and drifting snow so my friend M offered to drive her 4 wheel vehicle. As we drove along I realized how enoyable it was to not be the one behind the wheel. I sank deeper into the seat and savored the reprieve.
Living by myself means always being the driver. It's another one of those little things I miss and took for granted.
Being the head of the household does have its rewards, but every so often I wish I could go back to the days when I could be independent because I chose to be that way and not because circumstances forced it upon me.
Somedays I long for a Prince Charming no matter how unhealthy I know that it can be. Putting those expectations on a partner can be damaging for both parties. What I think made our marriage work so well is that we took turns bearing each others burdens and one time he was the strength in our marriage and the next time it would be me. Both equally satisfying.
Yep, having a husband only in your memories, is a lot like building a man out of snow. What can you do with him? Where's the give and take. Sometimes life is so disproportionate.
I took some advice from a friend a few years ago. She told me no one is exempt from an occassional pity party. How long we choose to party is up to us. She told me to let my party last 15 minutes and after that its time to
My 15 minutes is up so I best go change my clothes.
1 comment:
Some days it's easier to get those panties up than others isn't it?
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