The retreat I attended was a lot about experiencing God all around us. I needed to experience God because each one of Paula's sessions literally drained me. . As our Saturday afternoon session ended, Paula asked us to go back to our rooms and experience silence. We could journal, sit quietly and do nothing, take a walk, or even a nap. She suggested we do more than one thing. We were supposed to experience God in this silence.
I began by sitting quietly and then I journaled some thoughts before going outside for a walk around the grounds. The day before I had walked around, and was especially attracted to the statue of Jesus in the Agony Garden, so I decided to stop there first.
I was amazed at how piercing the eyes of a marble statue could be.
I reached down and felt Jesus’ thumbnail. The sculptor did such an amazing job, that you could actually feel ridges on it. As I started to walk away, all I could hear was Jesus saying the same thing he said to the apostles “Could you not keep watch for one hour?” I laughed but decided that maybe I should sit down on the bench for a while.
I guess I thought I was going to experience some powerful revelation or something, but instead it was just a nice peaceful resting period.
However, when it was time to leave I went and stood beside Jesus again. When I put my hand over his, my fingers went inside his folded hands. His hand was warm from the sun but for that instant, it was as though I was holding hands with God. I can’t describe the incredible feeling that came over me. It sounds silly, but it had quite a profound effect on me.
After dinner we headed back for the evening session. At the end, Paula again instructed us to leave in silence, but this time stand outside the building, and experience God in the nature surrounding us.
The sun had just gone down, but there was still enough light in the sky that I could see the clouds. As I turned my head, I noticed a cloud in the perfect shape of a dove. I looked around and no one was looking at it. I wanted to shout "Everybody Look." But then I realized it wasn't meant for everyone, it was my own message meant just for me. God was communicating to each of us in his own special way. For me the dove was God saying good night on a perfect day. “Peace”! he whispered in the cloud.
Both times that day, in the silence, God’s message had come through loud and clear and each time it was difficult to just walk away. I stayed out there for a long time that night watching the cloud until it dissipated. When I was a little girl and my parents tucked me in at night they would always kiss my cheek and gently tap their finger on the end of my nose. A special gesture to let me know how much I was loved, how much I was cared for . And that night in the cloud God kissed my cheek and tweaked my nose to let me know how much he loves me and how much he cares.
1 comment:
So profound and well written.
I never cease to expeirence the love of God in the sun. I feel the warmth soak into my body (I'm always cold) and I always, always, thank God for warming my body and my soul. Every day before going into work I'd sit on the beer kegs around the corner from the door (ya, I know), and let the sun soak in. I'd ask God to soak all kinds of positive thoughts into me to get me through the day. I'd hold up my aching hands and ask Him to warm them and let the ache subside enough to do my work for the day. Yep, the warmth of God is awesome.
Marble...amazing. When I went to the Louvre I fell in love with the sculputures. You could see agony on the face of the fellow being chewed on by a lion. You could see the love in the face of the dad holding the son....it was just amazing!
We're in Wisconsin right now..spending time with Jason, Deanna, and the babies. Today, before we go over there, I'll sit in the sun and take a silent minute with God and see what He has to say to me. Thanks for this post.
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