Summers End

I love change. One of the reason I love Michigan is because of the wonderful change of scenery the seasons bring.

Next week school starts and my days will be filled with peace and quiet now that the grandsons won't be coming over everyday. I'm looking forward to having more free time once again.

Over 30 years ago our church bulletin published a prayer that I found so poignant that I've kept it tucked away and read it every year at this time.


I don't know the author, to give them the credit, but I wanted to share it.

At Summer's End - A Mother's Prayer



Well, Lord, it's over. Today is the first day of school, and my brood has just piled out the back door, looking cleaner than they have all summer. Forgive me if my hand shakes slightly as I pour a cup of coffee - I have not yet become accustomed to the morning rush.

Forgive me, Father, For my summer failings; for the times I shouted over unmade beds, grumbled at the ever present array of dirty glasses
waiting to be washed; for the moments I secretly resented the children's loud and constant presence; for the envy over other families jetting off to exciting vacations. Forgive me for the plans that never materialized because "I'm too busy today," the family prayers that went unsaid because "it's just too hot."

And yet, Lord, as always , you sent blessings. Cool lemonade in
late afternoon, more pleasant because it was shared. A garden which yielded not only flowers but vegetables, the taste of summer all winter long. Sunsets, rich and varied, heralding the close of satisfying days.

There were gifts for my spirit too, Father , gifts that only
your summer can bestow. Sons coming home from paper routes tanned and tired, yet wearing the unmistakable aura of emerging manhood. A backyard view of husband and daughter, heads together, solemnly reviewing a passing ant parade . Unexpected guests, and the joy of friendships savored.

Now summer has once again slipped away and I am left in the stillness of my kitchen. I will relish the coming winter in silence, Lord, the chance to
complete a task, to think a peaceful thought. But summer's waning brings the bittersweet awareness of the passage of time, the knowledge that things will never again be the same.

Help me make the most of each new day Lord. Whatever the season, let me be grateful for your gift of life, your ever-present love. Father, thank you once again for summer.

Today is Tuesday

Today is Tuesday,do you know what that means?

Click the video to find out.

Before watching I must tell you to enter at your own risk. Anyone who is over 55 will probably be delighted with the nostalgia, but I warn the young uns' - you may find it a bit corny.

Okay so today isn't really Guest Star Day. But it is "Yes to God Tuesday" with Lelia Chealey. Today we discuss chapters ten and eleven of Lysa TerKeursts book "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith".

These were two of my favorite chapters so far. In chapter Ten - "Roadblocks and Reassurances", I was squirming in my seat as Lysa told of taking a cup of water to her neighbor as a token of her changed heart.

How many times have I been the first to extend my hand to squelch a feud? Too few, I'm sorry to say. Most times I've waited stubbornly in my own pool of self righteousness, waiting for someone to apologize to me.

I,too, was embattled in a bitter feud with a neighbor a few years ago. Even worse the neighbor was my sister. It involved land that bordered on both of our properties and belonged to my fathers estate. Early on as we discussed how to divide dad's estate we lost our trust in each other, both thinking the other had an ulterior motive. Yet both of us were believing that we were truly bending over backwards to be fair and equitable to all parties.

Each persons sense of fairness is unique to them, and no amount of talking can get both parties to see it the same way.

In Lysa's story of taking the woman the cup of water she says "As I got out of the car and started toward her, I had to will my feet to walk this obedient path." I had to laugh reading Lysa's words because I knew the feeling oh too well....

One afternoon after a long walk conversing with God, I walked up my sisters driveway and apologized to her for the way I'd been acting. I didn't want to do it, infact my mind said Walk Past, but as I neared her driveway my feet felt like they had sandbags attached and my pace slowed, The Holy Spirit insisted that if I wanted any kind of peace I at least needed to make an effort. Oh the strength it took to drag my feet to her door.

I wish I could tell you that it made everything okay, but it was only a bandaid on a broken arm, and a few days later a new situation arose. In my heart I thought I had forgiven my sister and that I had been sincere in asking for her forgiveness, but when this new crop of problems reared its head, I started to wonder. I felt the need to forgive the wrong I felt all over again.

During this time I was amazed at the people God brought into my life that shared their story of not speaking to a family member because of a disagreement over a parents estate. I was beginning to wish my dad hadnt left anything for us to divide. All the stories were wonderful reminders to me to humble myself at all costs. I couldn't bear the thoughts of losing anyone in my family to material possessions. My mother had always said, "If you want something take it now, I don't want you fighting over it when I'm gone."

I tried to use my prayer life and an open line of communication with God as well as my sister, as my armor. I thought if we could keep talking our minds wouldn't be able to percieve things that weren't true, but one last blow up put both my sister and I over the edge, and drove an even deeper wedge in between us.

My brother and I were so frustrated with my sisters lack of communication. We both felt like we were out of the loop and instead of asking our opinion on estate matters, she was confering with her husband. "What is the Holdup" I shouted unkindly one day.

Later that evening on my walk, God asked me to be patient with my sister. "Your sister has never been an executor of an estate. This isn't easy for her, and you are making it much more difficult for her."

I'd never thought of that before. I was demanding speed and perfection from her, and God hadn't equipped her with my idea of perfection and he had His own idea of when was best for everything to be settled. My dad had made her executor for a reason and who was I to argue with his choice. I believe in that moment of revelation my heart truly felt remorse and also felt real forgiveness towards her.

Finally the estate was settled in an agreeable way. We felt like we all had sacrificed a little to gain a lot- namely keeping the family intact. No one felt that they were at a disadvantage.

Only God could have negotiated a settlement like that.

One day after the estate was settled my sister called and asked if she could come over. She hadn't been to see my new home since I had moved. When she walked in the door she asked me to sit at the table because she wanted to talk. She asked to hold my hand and asked me not to say anything til after she had finished. Then she made the most beautiful, heartfelt apology that I have ever received. In that instant we both knew God had healed our hearts. Our family was whole again, perhaps a little worn and weathered from the storm we survived, but safely back on shore.

In Chapter 11, Lysa talks about pain having a purpose. I loved the scripture she quoted - Romans 8:17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."

My sister and I were heirs to my fathers estate, but it is our Heavenly Fathers estate that is worth more than all of the estates on earth combined.

Keeping our eyes focused on Christ and our Heavenly home helped us to give and accept forgiveness for our unChristlike behavior and in the end Gods name will be glorified as we share our story.

If you'd like to read what others are saying about this weeks study click here.

But before you go I want to give a shout out to Kelley over at Aroma of Joy for my new blog designs. I'm loving them and I hope you are too. Thanks Kelley.

A post to this post 1-27-09
It's been awhile since I wrote this post. Searching for something else, I reread this post today and I must make some additional comments. After rereading this I can see how it leaves the impression that the fued between my sister and I was her fault. It was not. I have always believed and said that we were mutually at fault and yet just the other day God brought something to my mind that I did that may have been the reason we ever started mistrusting the other in the first place. I now need to pay my sister a visit and ask the same forgiveness.

Obedience

Okay again this week I am a day late and a dollar short. Does the expression Better Late than never buy me any mercy at all?

Today is Yes to God Tuesday with Lelia Chealey. This week were discussing chapters eight and nine in Lysa TerKeursts book "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith." For this post I'd like to focus on chapter nine "A Most Unlikely Path". Lysa tells us that the longer we walk with God the more easily we hear his voice and trust His instructions.


Tonight was a backyard get together or our widows group First Tea @ Five. It was just a little over 4 years ago that God put the idea of this widows group on my heart. My first thought was "Cool, that sounds like a good idea I'll have to think more about it"


A few weeks later while I was searching for an answer to unanswered prayer I turned to the index in the back of my NIV Life Application Study Bible and looked up the word prayer in the notes section.
Under prayer I saw a title which read... “Why God May Not Be Answering Your Prayer” There was a reference to 1Samuel 28:15 “I am in great distress,” Saul said. “The Philistines are fighting against me, and God has turned away from me. He no longer answers me, either by prophets or by dreams.”

The notes explained “God did not answer Saul because Saul had not followed his previous directions. Sometimes people wonder why their prayers are not answered, But if they don’t fulfill the responsibilities God has already given them they should not be surprised when he does not give further guidance.”

I couldn’t help but think of how God had put the idea of a widows group on my heart earlier, and how I hadn’t done anything about it.



With confirmation like that you'd think I would have jumped right on it. But it took two more reminders before I finally got in gear. One of the first things I did was go visit a woman named Shirley. Shirley was the mom of my very best high school friend . I was over at her house as much as I was at my own home. She became my second mom.


Shirley had been widowed for several years, and on top of widowhood, she was suffering from the effects of a stroke. She wasn’t comfortable driving any longer and many of the things she had loved to do in the past were extremely difficult, if not impossible, for her to do now; things that could possibly aid her in her grieving process.

When I arrived at her house I gave her a big hug, sat down and asked if she would be willing to answer a few questions. After sharing some insight with her about my ideas for the group, I told her how important it was to get as much insight as I could from women in different age groups as well as in different lengths and stages of grief and widowhood.

“Loneliness, Shirley began, is the number one thing that bothers me. When you’re first widowed you have a stream of people that come and offer support. At the time, you’re too numb to appreciate it. But it’s after, when the numbness wears off, that you’re left with the void, and by that time everyone else has resumed daily life. I’m just plain lonely.”

Leaving her home that day, I promised myself that I was going to make it a point to visit regularly.


It took 8 months of planning before the widows group was up and running. Two months into the process I left for Florida, and my friend and mentor MS agreed to step forward and see the plans to fruition.



MS made me promise to come back for the kick off event. Hurricanes, snowstorms or wild horses couldn't have kept me away.

At the end of Chapter nine, #2, Lysa T says " As we learn to listen for God's voice, the next step is to obey His voice." She gives scriptures verses that show us when God speaks he expects us to obey and then she goes on to say that "Gods word gives us many examples of how we will miss out on the many blessings He has in store for us if we do not obey. Many times for a number of reasons we ignore Gods voice.

True to my promise I flew up for the kickoff event. What a blessing it was to be able to see what obedience to God looked like.



I was so glad I had listened to God's voice instead of listening to the voices that told me "what makes you think you have what it takes to organize a support group. You have the worlds worst follow thru."



When only 10 women showed up for the event I began to think the voices had been correct, and we had failed God. But as the night wore on the comraderie grew so strong that it became evident that these 10 women were handpicked. God's idea of success was not the same as my own had been.


I was disappointed that Shirley hadn't felt well enough to make it to our meeting, since she had been such an inspiration. The next morning God laid her so heavily on my heart that I knew without a doubt that it was important to get over to see her before I left.



I went right to the kitchen and decided to make a Key Lime Pie and take it to her that afternoon. I was missing an ingredient. Needless to say things got in the way of my plans that day and by the end of my stay I let too many things get in the way of following Gods direction and missed going to see her.

I fussed all the way to the airport about my disobedience. God was really letting me wallow in my guilt.
I kept remembering the words I had heard at Bible Study a few weeks before.

My bible study teacher had emphasized a that when we hear Gods voice its imparitive that we respond immediately. Depending on what God is telling us to do, we may or may not sin by not responding, but we may miss out on a blessing God wishes to bestow. (The same advice Lysa gives in her book, however, at the time I didn't know the woman Lysa TerKeurst even existed. )


So often I find God asking me to put my money where my mouth is.
The plane ride back to Florida was one of those times.
Seated on the plane I kept asking God to forgive me, and telling him how sorry I was for not getting over to see Shirley.



I'm thinking God probably called a few of his saints over and said "Lets see how sorry she truly is". Because no sooner had the last I'm sorry left my mouth when God popped another task down in front of me..... It's a great story and I'll tell you all about it over at God Spots.

But before you go let me finish this one.

I had been back in Florida less than 3 weeks when I recieved a phone call at work telling me that Shirley had suffered another stroke and had died. I was stunned.

I wasn't able to fly back for her funeral and now I can see clearly why God had so strongly asked me to stop and see her.

I missed an opportunity to say a final goodbye to a wonderful friend. The blessing would have been mine for the taking if only I had obeyed.

But one of the joys of obedience I mentioned earlier in the post, was the backyard gathering of my wonderful group.

Tonight we welcomed 4 new widows into our ranks, and soon we will have quintupled in size from our very first meeting. God's hand is so evident in our endeavor to honor him by serving the women who's hearts are so near and dear to his own. He so loves these precious women called widows.

Our Hostess tonight, CT offered her pond incase anyone wanted to fish.

AC took her up on it. After a few casts AC's pole ended up in the pond, but CT came to the rescue.




Afterwards AC had sucess.


Unfortunately AC didn't know the pond was strictly "Catch and Release" She had visions of a fish fry floating in her mind. But CT was a good sport and let her keep them because after all were all "Sisters" and thats the kind of thing Sisters do.



Thank you Lord, for the help you give me to walk in obedience. I know I have a long way to go but with every step I take in your direction the closer I feel to you.

Help me to remember the blessings you have given and keep me ever mindful of the blessings I have missed when I've failed to walk obediently. I love you Lord.

I have a question

There's been lots of grandson sitting this week. One of the things on the agenda was making sure oldest grandson got his birthday thank yous written.


I'm not good at sending out TY's in a timely manner. In fact if I thank someone in person I don't feel I need to send a hand written note also.

However, several of my relatives are so etiquette savvy that their thank yous are in the mail almost before the wrapping paper is off the box. And even worse they expect the same in return.

I start to cringe every time I hear someone complaining about how ungrateful cousin Jethro's children are because they didn't send a TY for the gift...Kinda makes me start questioning the reason the gift was given in the first place.

Don't get me wrong I believe in expressing gratitude and it is rude not to let someone know you've received their gift, but I hope you 'll comment on whether or not you feel a TY should be sent if you thank someone face to face.

Oldest grandson made his TY's on the computer. I showed him how to to use the program and then left him alone to create a masterpiece. This was what he came up with. Obviously he's still in the Independence Day mood.




This morning I was making a casserole to take for a funeral dinner. I guess the thank you note project was still on my mind and I started to remember how long it took me to get my thank yous out when Ed died. I wanted to send a personal note and not just sign my name. I think it took me 3 months to get them all written.

What I remember most was the funeral home saying I should purchase enough TY notes to include everyone who sent me a sympathy card.

Well I didn't do it. My husband had been a high school teacher for 23 years and I received stacks and stacks of cards. I just couldn't write another thank you.

Instead of taking comfort in the kind words I was receiving, I found myself feeling burdened every time an envelope arrived.

If the funeral home was right, everyone must be thinking, "Boy is she a derelict!"


So here's my second question. Do you feel it's necessary to send a TY card to someone who sends a sympathy card? And if you do, shouldn't the person receiving the thank you send a thank you in return saying thanks for being so considerate?